admin If I had a dollar for everyone who had recently canceled plans with me to watch Suits on Netflix, I’d have…at least three dollars, leading me to believe that, A) my friends are way too comfortable bailing on me for TV (but then again, I may have set the precedent) and, B) there’s something currently going on with the show that first launched Meghan Markle to fame.
I hate to be even momentarily on the outside of the TV-rewatch zeitgeist, so recently, I set out to stream and have thoughts about the pilot episode of Suits (which is—woof—a whopping hour and 20 minutes long, and premiered in 2011). Read the result below:
- Is there a requirement that the lighting in law firms has to be bad?
- Lawyers, lawyers!
- Arguing, arguing!
- Some actor who looks like Taub from House (but is not Taub from House, I checked) is walking down a hallway in slow motion.
- Harvey Specter—hey, that’s my last name!—is super hot and confident, and you can tell because he drinks brown liquor and is good at poker.
- Wait, is this a different angry bald man from a minute ago? Or the same angry bald man?
- God, Harvey’s jaw is so chiseled.
- “Your balls are in my fist” is a real line that was just said out loud.
- Some guy in a baseball cap is scamming the LSAT (which, TBH, doesn’t seem like the easiest way to earn money, even if you have a photographic memory), but he evades getting caught.
- Freakonomics reference! It really is 2011!
- God, this man’s glass-walled apartment is terrifying.
- I will lodge this complaint every time I see it on TV, even though I understand why it happens: What woman sleeps in her bra and underwear???
- The baseball-cap kid supports his grandma, FYI, and he needs money to keep her in her retirement home.
- I cannot tell any of the white men on this show apart. They need to be differentiated by hair color!
- Hey, it’s Victor Garber!
- Baseball-cap kid (Mike?) impersonates some guy named Rick to interview with Harvey, avoids trouble for being the drop-off man for a briefcase full of weed, and improbably gets the job despite having no law degree. I smell a premise!
- Oh shit, Mike passed the bar? Without going to law school? I thought he just took the LSATs!
- IT’S MEGHAN MARKLE!
- Bro, I forgot how we all used to over-pluck our eyebrows in 2011. Crazy stuff.
- Harvey gets demoted for losing that angry bald client from earlier, and tries to fire Mike in an attempt to shape up, but Mike’s not having it.
- I love to hear someone use the word “shenanigans” in all sincerity.
- Mike goes off to meet a client that the firm is thinking of representing pro bono in her sexual harassment case, and she insists he looks super young, even though I…don’t think he does?
- This Louis Litt guy has huge teeth.
- Mike and Meghan Markle are doing research together, and sparks are flying as they order sushi.
- I just realized right now that they’re in New York and not Chicago. (Hi, MetLife building!)
- Vampire Weekend needle drop!
- Oh shit, Mike’s douchey friend Trevor broke into his apartment to try to steal that briefcase of weed he had hidden in his oven, for some reason. (Get a lockbox, king!)
- Mike gets drug-tested at work, and it seems to go okay, but then he plans to quit anyway because Litt is suspicious of him? Anyway, Harvey yells at him.
- Harvey does a good legal thing re: the sexual harassment case (sorry, I’m not really following this plotline) and Mike rats douchey Trevor out to his girlfriend.
- Well, that was…fine!
