admin My parents both work in the arts and they were supportive of whatever I chose to do after high school. I took a year off, tried a few different things and finally settled into the degree I have now in my 20s. They had savings to pay for undergrad degrees for me and my twin sister, and they let us know that things were a little tight paying for both of us to get six-year, double-major degrees. My sister ended up taking out a student loan to cover additional costs and that was pretty smart. My credit card balance was high from college expenses and a residency abroad. I just recently paid it down after graduating, which feels great. If I could go back in time, I would probably take out a student loan to cover what my parents couldn’t. They paid for class tuition but I paid for all my living expenses and everything else, so I always worked two jobs.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents didn’t talk about money unless they were fighting. My dad was absolutely terrified of debt and both my parents tended to moralize it (i.e. if you acquire debt, you’re irresponsible). I definitely internalized guilt when I started acquiring credit card debt and felt like a bad person. There was also a shroud of mystery around whatever money conversations we did have, because emotions were too fraught. I used to pay my parents directly for car insurance and my phone because I was still on their plans and we couldn’t communicate well about what was actually due. They never gave me an actual number so I would come up with a huge sum of a few thousand dollars every year, which was really stressful as a teenager, and often they would end up giving a little back if the company “quoted less” or something. As an adult, I know that is absolutely not how things work. Still, I have to give my parents credit and grace for keeping me on their plans and handling the money. It was complicated but they did their best and always took care of me.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I babysat from the time I was 12 and I taught ballet as a volunteer to kids with autism and cerebral palsy, starting when I was 14. I met lots of babysitting clients at those classes so I took care of kids with additional needs and their siblings. I also had a paper route and painted sets and houses for the local film industry. I took all the gigs I could for pocket money. Later, I saved up to pay for insurance on the car I inherited from my grandpa in high school. I didn’t have a savings account until my first job with paychecks as a barista, and that’s how I paid for things like car insurance and travel while I lived with my parents.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes and no. My parents experienced money insecurity right when we were born. It’s hard to fund twins because you’re buying two of everything. I remember my dad took a lot of jobs when we were young and our family thrifted most things. I think they were more secure as we grew up but were definitely always frugal. Even while my dad was saving money, he didn’t like to talk about it, and we definitely had to justify every purchase. But they always made sure my sister and I had everything we really needed and were safe and cared for. We also had extracurricular activities and trips to the coast to visit family so we definitely had treats. My parents were really generous that way. I was more worried and nervous about them judging me or thinking I was bad with money. I tended to keep my spending habits secret just because that’s how our family was.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes, definitely. I still have debt stigma even though it’s basically impossible for millennials to escape it in this economy. My partner and I worry that we haven’t been able to build decent savings for my grad school year, which will require moving and taking out loans for tuition. But I recently advocated for a raise at work and I am working on feeling more secure. It’s important to me that my partner and I have a budget and sit down at least once a week to talk about money.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I moved out permanently when I was 20 and paid for all my living expenses. When I started my degree, my parents paid all my tuition. I felt independent and financially responsible as soon as I moved out but I graduated at 26, so that’s really when I stopped receiving support from my parents. I’m also part of a family phone plan my mom pays for, and she bought my sister and me phones for our birthday. Part of the present was paying for our plans until the phones are paid off, which is really kind. Both my parents are generous now with money because they have a great dual income and love giving gifts. One or both of them will often send me an e-transfer for a treat or to make my life easier when an unexpected expense comes up. I would never move back in with them if I fell on hard times, even though I know they would welcome me. I struggle to take that kind of help from parents so I would likely sooner move in with my sister and get financial help elsewhere.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My degree was in English and writing, and I won a few writing awards that totaled about $2,265 and funded things like my writing residency so I’m lucky to have had that extra income. My parents gave me $1,887 when I turned 25, which I put into savings. It really helped us for our big move downtown. For our wedding, my partner’s parents sent us $3,775 and my dad sent us $1,360, which we used for wedding expenses and car repairs. We are definitely not without help and privilege, and I have a lot of gratitude for our parents.
