No One Wears Jorts Quite Like Post Malone

Before Post Malone was Post Malone—in the time, as I imagine the chronology dictates, of Pre Malone—he was Leon DiChino: 17-year-old Post’s micro-cutoff-shorts-wearing alter ego who performed a synthy track called “Why Don’t You Love Me?” over a Photo Booth-heavy music video for his high school art class. “Those are my Chuck Norris action shorts,” Post said of his teenage dungarees on Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club in 2016. “Those are Stone Cold (Steve Austin) shorts, I was just missing the leg brace.”

In the intervening years, Post Malone has become something of a rough-and-tumble style icon, elevating his raggedy tees, gas station trucker caps, and glitzy Western wear into a modernly carefree rockstar wardrobe. When he brought his If Y’all Weren’t Here I’d Be Crying tour to North Carolina this week, he hit the stage in a cutoff camo-print tank and cutoff jean shorts that offered maximum comfort and ease of movement. (He’s recently been on a big dancing kick.) Busting a move rarely feels as good as it does in a pair of hacked-off Daisy Dukes.

Post Malone’s jorts oeuvre even includes this butterfly-embroidered pair, which he wore to Outside Lands 2022.

Steve Jennings

Though the inseam of Posty’s modern-day jorts appear to offer a notch more wiggle room than his erstwhile “Chuck Norris action shorts,” they’re optimized for goofing off and dancing around. (And if you feel compelled to craft a pair of Stone Cold cut-offs of your own, GQ has a guide for that.) The camouflage print of his tank is, too, a Post Malone signature, in part because of the bodily freedom it allows: “I’ve always been a camo guy,” Post told GQ last fall. “It’s the most flattering fabric (because) like, you can’t see my belly underneath camo. It’s beautiful. And always, as a kid running around outside, everybody loves a good camo.” Jorts and camo, two powerful tools in the art of dancing like nobody’s watching—or, in the case of the latter, dancing like no one can see you. What’s more beautiful than that?

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