admin We all know that Jennifer Lawrence has a talent for dramatic performance, whether she’s slinging arrows as Katniss in The Hunger Games or dancing with Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook, but I, personally, have been waiting for her to get her Julia Roberts on and dip a toe into the warm and inviting rom-com pool. Luckily, my prayers have been answered, as her—okay, let’s admit it—somewhat problematic but fun-seeming latest film No Hard Feelings just hit streaming services. Below, find all the things I thought about J. Law’s rom-com debut (unless you count 2011’s Like Crazy, which I don’t, because I watched the whole thing and didn’t laugh once):
- This scene of J. Law’s character Maddie’s car being towed is giving me anxiety about my own parking job. BRB, gonna go check on my car real quick.
- Okay, it’s fine. Onward!
- Hey, it’s Ebon Moss-Bachrach!
- Has he always been this tan?
- “He’s my cousin…he’s my second cousin” is the line of the film so far—although, granted, it’s been three minutes.
- Maddie tries to steal her car back so she can keep driving for Uber, but it obviously doesn’t work.
- Note to self: Finish paying off taxes so the events of this film don’t happen to me.
- God save me from the sunburned, entitled men of Montauk.
- And here comes the movie premise: Maddie comes across an ad from parents looking to trade a Buick Regal for a girlfriend for their 19-year-old son, so he can gain confidence before college. It’s giving Failure to Launch!
- Natalie Morales deserves a bigger career, IMO.
- Honestly, props to the writers, because a Buick Regal is the funniest car they could have possibly chosen (and I say that as a Honda Fit owner).
- Oh hell yeah, it’s Matthew Broderick! With long, stringy gray hair!
- These rich people’s Montauk house is decorated so perfectly, insofar as they have a white couch, which always drives me nuts. (A white couch at the beach???? Are you insane?)
- Ew, this kid’s name is Percy?
- I gotta say, J. Law really pulled off the line “Mind if I touch your weiner?”
- Maddie whisks her assigned youth from his animal-shelter job, and they go on a death ride in her borrowed van.
- LMAO, Percy maces Maddie because he thinks she’s kidnapping her. A little overdramatic, but probably wise!
- Somehow, out of the macing comes a plan for a real date.
- This kid choking on a Long Island iced tea is very relatable.
- I am so firmly on this nerd’s side: Night swimming is dangerous! Sorry, I know that’s not very rom-com protagonist of me, but you have to respect the ocean.
- Okay, this sequence of a nude J. Law emerging from the sea to fight some annoying kids is iconic.
- “And stay the fuck out of Montauk!” is the new “Welcome to the O.C., bitch!”
- Percy sitting on Maddie’s lap like a ventriloquist dummy is making me LOL.
- J. Law’s beach hair is consistently inspiring in this movie, and making me want to drive to Malibu right this second.
- Oh shit, first kiss!
- Hey, it’s Kyle Mooney as Percy’s former manny!
- Hey, it’s Hasan Minhaj as a shitty real-estate broker trying to buy Maddie’s mom’s house!
- Oh, God, Percy’s taking Maddie on a full-on date complete, with limo and corsage and reminiscing about the prom he never went to. I’m sad!
- Aw, he’s playing “Maneater” by Hall & Oates on the restaurant piano and singing! This poor 19-year-old.
- At least Maddie has the good grace to be ashamed of what she’s doing after that little piano tribute.
- An age-appropriate girl who’s also going to Princeton invites Percy to a party, but Maddie cockblocks him out of jealousy.
- LMAO, they go to the party and Maddie gets filmed being homophobic by Gen Z-ers, who are always quick to grab proof.
- Percy takes a pill and is too out of it to hook up with the age-appropriate girl, and he and Maddie both end up getting kicked out of the party.
- Sorry, but this adult woman needs to get a life!
- Percy wants to bail on Princeton to be with Maddie, and his parents are pissed.
- Aw, Percy finds out about the scam just as Maddie calls it off (and is naturally heartbroken).
- Percy destroys the Buick, which…fair.
- God, this sex scene is cringe.
- Aw, they make up and stay friends! After a full car immersion in the ocean, but still.
- Okay, I would describe that film as “pleasantly mid.”
