admin Jack Antonoff and Margaret Qualley got married on Long Beach Island over the weekend, and while I’m sure they would have loved to be the focus of the proceedings, that simply wasn’t realistic with a guest list including Taylor Swift, Cara Delevingne, Channing Tatum, Zoë Kravitz, and—you guessed it—Lana Del Rey, the latter of whom attended the ceremony in (gasp) a white dress and (gasp again) platform plastic slides that bore a striking resemblance to Crocs but are actually from Lemon Jelly.
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I’m not going to get into whether or not Del Rey was wrong to wear white to a wedding (she’s in her shenanigans era, get over it), but I do want to take a firm stand of support here and say that Crocs-style shoes simply aren’t the wedding faux pas they might seem to be. In fact, in my case, they’re crucial to ensuring good wedding-guest behavior. Let me take you back to last August, when my best friend was getting married in Hudson, New York; I purchased a beautiful pair of sky blue Maryam Nassir Zadeh pumps on The RealReal that I couldn’t wait to pair with my Selkie dress—but unfortunately they were so wildly uncomfortable that I spent the first 40 minutes of the wedding Frankenstein shuffling my way around the venue, desperately asking other attendees for Band-Aids before finally acquiescing to my partner’s advice to “just put your Crocs on.”
The Crocs I ended up giving my toast in at that wedding were platforms, like Del Rey’s—I’m not a monster—and if I may say so, they were kind of the hit of the wedding. Or more accurately, I was the hit of the wedding once I changed into shoes I could actually walk, dance, and fetch the bride a steady stream of Aperol spritzes in. And really, if Del Rey is comfortable in her slides, why shouldn’t she wear them? Wouldn’t any bride and groom rather have a happy wedding guest in chill plastic shoes than a miserable one bleeding profusely out the toe holes of her Charlotte Stone pumps?
It’s actually very girls’-team behavior to wear a comfortable shoe to a friend’s wedding so that you can be put to work doing any of the thousands of tasks that always seem to crop up on wedding days. I can just imagine Qualley in her wedding gown, suddenly realizing before she goes to take a bite of the cake that she hasn’t spit out her gum. Taylor, Cara, and Zoë are, of course, no help in their stilettos, but just when it seems Qualley’s first bite will be forever marred, Lana races over in her performance shoes with a napkin and, before you know it, the day has been saved by none other than Lemon Jelly. (This isn’t product placement, but truly, Lemon Jelly, if you want it to be, the ball’s in your court…. I have a few weddings coming up.)
