admin The app’s proliferation is timely. Research shows that interest in consensual non-manogamy is high. Perhaps one of the most significant societal changes surrounding alternative sex and relationships, whether it’s kink or open relationships, is that people are finally wrapping their heads around the idea that intimacy is not exclusive to traditional monogamous relationships.
What Feeld Is Like—Firsthand
People who have tried Feeld are sold. “It led to the hottest threesome of my life,” says Kellie*, a 42-year-old self-identified femme bi woman living in Los Angeles of her experience. After a devastating breakup, she joined the app last year and wanted to meet both men and women. Like so many women fresh out of a long-term relationship, she quickly realized that a lot of people wanted to have sex with her. Like a lot. “I woke up to the realization that I’m hot AF and have more options than I could ever need,” she says. Sexologist Alexa Andre knows what that feels like. “I currently have 29,178 likes,” shares the 26-year-old Costa Rican bisexual cis woman. “It could fill a stadium, and thinking about it gives me anxiety.”
It’s also, for some, a tool for reassurance. “I mostly use it at night to remind myself that opportunities are out there,” says Rory*, a 38-year-old man happily (yes, you can be happy but still want to bang others) in a monogamish relationship in New York City. Generally speaking, “monogamish,” a name coined by sex writer Dan Savage, refers to relationships that are predominantly monogamous but allow for some wiggle room and understanding that human sexuality is rarely limited to attraction solely to one person. In Rory’s case, his partner is also on Feeld, but neither has gone on any dates yet.
In many ways, it’s the Rorys of the world that Feeld is catering to, especially in their recent rebrand focused on self-discovery. “Sixty-two percent of Feeld members signal a personal transformation within their first year on the app by evolving their sexuality, interests, and desires, as well as the types of people they’re looking to connect with,” says Kirova. “This solidifies what we have been observing: a change in attitudes towards sexuality, gender, and relationships.”
“I have enjoyed Feeld because I can make sex an open part of the equation while also putting out there that I would like to, ideally, grow a long-term monogamous-ish relationship as well,” says June*, a 35-year-old, heteroflexible woman living in Salt Lake City. “There are people out there that want both kinky sex and an actual romantic partnership.”
Feeld can help couples find a third and self-identified unicorns find a couple. It allows guys like Rory and babes like Kellie to remind themselves of their desirability. People like Carly can discover relationships that won’t sabotage their primary partnership, and women like June can have their kink and eat the romance, too. Despite being considered niche, being the app for the curious comes with a big job description. So what can go wrong? Dishonesty.
“Apps aren’t the problem,” says sex therapist and proud trans man Kelly Wise, PhD. “It’s that people don’t know their patterns when it comes to intention-setting and being honest.” Feeld helps you connect with people who share your desires to help keep you out of awkward situations. Forget reading the room. Don’t sabotage your dream sex life by failing to read someone’s profile or fill yours out with integrity. And if you’re just exploring and still figuring out what you want? Put that in your bio.
*Names changed for privacy reasons.
