When I heard that no less a Taylor Swift stan than Beyoncé had turned up to celebrate the release of the Eras Tour film at Los Angeles fixture The Grove this week, I resolved not to be long behind her. Sure, I couldn’t get myself into the celebrity-studded shenanigans at The Grove, but I could certainly pick a different movie-theater-in-a-mall (the Americana, specifically) and have myself some thoughts, all while enjoying the pleasures of a near-empty daytime showing.
Without further ado, here are the 35 thoughts I had at my 12:30 p.m. screening of The Eras Tour:
- God, I should have anticipated this, but the other people seeing this movie at noon on a Friday are very clearly high schoolers cutting class.
- Mega-charmed, despite myself, by Taylor kicking off the show with “Oh, hi!”
- Okay, it’s been five minutes and I’ve already been transported to another world, and am regretting the fact that I didn’t have the money or moral fortitude required to nab Eras tickets.
- Hey, Taylor said “Los Angeles”! That’s me, specifically!
- So much of this woman’s job must involve the exhausting work of being nice to other people’s children.
- Wait, this took place at the SoFi stadium? I guess that’s the only place in LA that can accommodate Peak Taylor.
- I want a sequined silver blazer.
- It would work for Taylor and Beyoncé concerts!
- Okay, enough rationalizing.
- Aw, heart hands!
- “LA, are you ready to go back to high school with me?” NO!!!!!
- Okay, “You Belong With Me” does go pretty hard, especially when Taylor acknowledges that many of its fans are 30 now. (Including me.)
- All these women in the audience look so much happier than me :/
- Then again, that’s probably how I looked at the MUNA concert on Wednesday 🙂
- Evermore era just hit!
- I need someone on TikTok to educate me at length about Taylor’s moss piano.
- Okay, this mustard corset dress is major (not a sentence I ever expected to write).
- Do Taylor’s bangs change once per era, or am I seeing things?
- Should I get a one-legged sequin catsuit like Taylor’s for Halloween that I gradually just phase into everyday wear?
- “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO”!
- I’m humiliatingly dancing in my seat.
- Thank God I’m alone in the back row.
- Oh no, I’m identifying way more with the moms than the daughters in the audience.
- Is this how aging comes for you? Slowly, then all at once, at the Eras Tour movie?
- Oh, thank God, “22” is on to distract me from my mortality.
- Another sparkly little jumpsuit I want!
- Would a tiny sequined cape look good on me?
- Sorry, okay, no more fashion reverie.
- This slide-slash-roof Taylor is perching on looks terrifying, but then again, I’m a known coward about heights.
- Folklore cabin 🙂
- When Taylor said “August slipped away like a bottle of wine,” she meant it. (Literally how is it mid-October?)
- Sequin Watch: Now Taylor’s backup dancers are wearing long, glittery black coats I covet.
- Aw, I can see multiple people crying in the audience.
- OMG, “Shake It Off”!
- Okay, now I’m one of the crying people.